So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
