I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
