i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
