He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
