..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
