you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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