i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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