I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
how drunk are you?
Several
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
