All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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