Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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