cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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