she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize