they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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