I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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