Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i think my tv is drunk
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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