I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
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Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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