Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize