ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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