She went from zero to smokin in five shots
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
