i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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