she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
