I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
