what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize