dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
