sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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