Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
only you would photoshop your dick
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
