you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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