He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
