you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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