What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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