I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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