just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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