Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
