you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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