Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize