so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
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I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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