wake up i wanna do it froggy style
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
