I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize