hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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