So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
