I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
this will be a night to untag.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
