Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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