You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
