eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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