My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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