yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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