Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
