woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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