She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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