garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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