fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
