I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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