Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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