So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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